Moses complex

I've been warned of this by Liz, my good christian friend. But she used it in a different context in a sense. It was about how lost Moses was that it took 40 years for the Israelites to make it to the promised land. How I seem to remember it that he insisted his way, hence they took that long to get to their destination.

Peter Tanchi nailed it in the message I listened to earlier. The low resolution YouTube video from 4 years ago talked about overcoming depression. This video popped out from nowhere and the date of it's upload, sept 11 or 14 was mindblowing. It really seemed like God's hand was moving in miraculous ways.

Peter narrates and portrays Moses in a bitxhing manner while he was talking to God while leading the Israelites. Moses, consumed with frustration was telling God that he can't stand the stubbornness of His people no longer. That God just kill him instead.

I started balling. I was balling hard. Snot was jamming up my nose and my tears were intense. As Peter Tanchi acted Moses out, I could hear myself complaining to God that despite my best efforts to do a good job, nothing seems to work out. Peter continued, explaining that disappointment is the gap between expectation and reality. The gap I was grappling with was huge.

Peter continued, saying that Moses thought like he was a mini god. That wasn't his role to make. He then goes "...it's not our job to change people, only God can do that, the sooner you realize that the better..." Moses' intentions echoed my own. I had one sheep. One super favorite sheep. I was in love with this sheep, I practically obsessed with it. I wasn't the only shepherd. Jesus is THE ultimate shepherd. And now, like a child, I've been revealed the reason why I needed to hold back. He's taking responsibility in taking care of my sheep. My beloved sheep.

He reminds me of how great and wonderful and powerful a God he truly is. Peter asks, "can God solve your problem?" Without a doubt He can.

His last story was about a 15 year old girl that undergoes a 1 1/2 year, locked in the room depression. A kid ostracized by her peers for not submitting to the peer pressures of alcohol, sex and drugs. Counselors come and go yet she remains deeply sad. Her parents losing hope until finally, her dad comes up to her and says "Starting today, you can have premarital sex. I give you permission to take drugs and alcohol". The child reacted of course saying "dad, that's wrong! Those are evil sins!" Then the dad goes "those sins are less important compared to what you're saying that God is a liar, that's why I'm giving you permission." She got out of her depressed state a few days after.

I don't want to get lost for 40 years. I'm already 37 and I'm still so stubborn. I have to trust In Him and just stop and be still.

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