Posts

Showing posts from February, 2014

Match

I'll admit, the first thing I noticed was how pretty you are. Your beautiful face and your sweet and cheerful smile comes to mind when I think about you.

Not that it's all I see of you. It may also be the way you carry yourself all too well. The way you brighten a room full of people or in the inaudible conversations you have with your friends that my captured mind finds intriguingly fascinating.

I continue to observe, musing to myself whether I should discover more about you or to simply keep my distance. My curiosity gets the best of me and I soon find myself trying to come up with a lame, hopefully casual, but nonetheless nerve-wracking approach just to be able to simply say hi.

And so I do. I blindly rush onto talking to you, suppressing the shyness inherent of me. I find myself trying to keep conversation light but engaging enough for you to say more than just hello. In perhaps your politeness, or some lucky twist of fate, the exchange of words turn out to be far bett…

Lazy days

Lazy days

Are some of my favorite days, I'm ashamed to admit. I indulge in it without a care in the world. Same clothes from the prior day. Optional toothbrushing and electricity-saving-darkness in the absence of light within the confines of my black hole of a room.

Passively participating in social media networks like twitter, instagram and facebook. Playing a casual game or two of Dota. Taking random cig breaks. Instant coffee.

The freedom to do nothing is a cherished gift indeed. With life's endless offerings, just to choose what to do becomes a boring chore to be honest. Bruno Mars made money on this too din't he? Did he come up with his chart topping song on a hectic busy day? I don't fvcking think so. In his state of money making brilliance he was alluding to this state of wanton disregard. More money for him to earn so he doesn't have to 9-5 like most folks.

Here's an idea I'd like to share with the haters of this day and to haters of the lazy in …

C'est la vie redux

There will always be critics.

And there will always be rainclouds, those who wish to ruin your parade. Can you stop them? I sure can't. So what else can I do?

And that's the mindset I choose to be in when faced with situations like that. I'd rather the question "what else can I do?" than to default to "life fvckin sucks". I'd rather face adversity and challenge with a fvck you twin dirty finger with a smug smirk on my face than to allow myself to sink into whatever shithole life throws at me.

We all experience bad days, bad situations, bad lots in life. What makes you or me different from the rest of the world then? Reality check: There is no difference between you and me. We deal with problems equally proportionate to what we can handle and it's a matter of how we handle the shit when it hits us.

I'd rather choose a cheery outlook any fvckin day than to fvckin mope and cry when bad days happen and we all know they do. The crying and emo…

C'est la vie

I'm fvckin drunk. What else should i say?

Recovery

Foreword

In a previous entry, I covered what a douche can be. At the time of writing that post, I was in knots about some incident that involved being rejected hence that post's uber-ly bitter flavor. Thankfully, this author was able to come to his senses and despite the messy and emotionally charged weeks after the incident, is able to kind of think clearly on what to do with that situation and what to do for the rest of the year.

Recovery

It's been  days since the "douchebag" blog entry. How different I feel now compared to how I was when I wrote that. Recovery has been remarkably good. Awesome comes to mind but it's a little to strong a word to describe it. It wasn't easy. I had to go through endless conversation with my network of friends that ranged from my vintage high school and college barkada, to tomboys, to celebs, to douches. The convo's were sappy and ugh, repetitive and mostly lame.

Bouncing back didn't come in one fell swoop in this case.…

I can be an asshole

I can be an asshole, I've always known that.

I grew up in an industry full of it. An industry full of themselves.

I started in this industry at the age of thirteen. At that time, I already knew I could get away with a lot of things simply by being part of this small world. Kids in this world would smoke, make out, buy whatever they want, stay up late, smoke up and drink. This was required to be part of the cool kids group. This is the peer pressure I had to grow up in. Of course I wanted to be part of the cool kids back then. But back then, I did not what they did. Back then, I did what other kids in school at that time did. Play street fighter and read comics.

I grew up with people's expectations of who I should be. Among normal friends they expected me to be doing the same crap industry kids were doing: sleeping around, partying, doing drugs BUT the top query was: who did I sleep with. I did not sleep with anyone at that time. I got laid a bit later in life.

For some odd rea…

I kinda understand it now: "In this world, being good holds us back from being great"

I kinda understand it now: "In this world, being good holds us back from being great"

Not that I agree with the above mindset. I just see now why a lot of people pursue what they do.

Being good limits what you can theoretically do. Being good has so much rules to follow.

#DELIKS

Sobra akong nadiskaril. Di naman nya kasalanan. Ginusto ko naman ito noon eh. Nakakafrustrate lang noon na wala lang pala sa kanya yun. Tinamaan lang ako talaga. Tinamaan ng lintek.

Gets ko naman, kanya kanyang trip lang naman sa buhay. Ang hassle lang yung pag di tumugma yung inaasahan mo, tapos ang malala pa, yung mga kinakatakot mo, yun pa yung mangyayari. Fvck.

Di naman sa hindi makamove on, may naka-date na nga eh. May mga chickakas na nga na na-meet at may mga umaaligid pa. Pang ego boost ba. Lalaki lang po ako, di santo.

May mga pinagkakaabalahan din naman ako ngayon. Trabaho, raket, pagbukas ng negosyo, restoration project, etchetera. Etchetera. Etchetera.

Eh, tangina, ang pogi ko naman. May kaya naman. Maayos ang pamilya. Mabango. Charming. Oks naman daw pagdating dun (confirmed) Taena, humble pa nga eh, promise! (bwhahaha) Kaya ganun nalang talaga ang pagkabwisit ko naman talaga. Pakshet!

Ang issue naman kasi ngayon, eh wala ako ni isang kusing ng inspirasyon. Yung tipong …

The Lowdown

My research is nearing its end.

The douchebaggery should not continue any further. (Except for panagbenga and labor day weekend haha) The results of this exploration may be repeatable and measureale, a cookie cutter strategy that may work for many types of guys.

It's not about if it's easy or difficult to do. Suffice to say it is doable. Some components just require time to practice and more resources than usual but the yields are the same.

This new world order is all about: confidence, first impressions, appearance, cunning, and closing.

Confidence
Before you could proceed with the other steps, one must have confidence mastered to a certain degree. This should at all times, be exuded whether you'd choose to be an introvert or extrovert at that moment. I put emphasize on how important the mastery of this is. It is the foundation, the source of strength. This actually is the magnet that draws girls torwards you. Anything you do or say in confidence leaves a lasting impress…

On moving on

Yet spells of melancholy randomly hits...
Its difficult to move on. It's not like you willfully chose to feel bad, unless you're a masochist of some sort, you wouldn't. You can’t say when it hits you. The feelings of desperation, anxiety, helplessness, stupidity and remorse just kicks in.
The trigger? A random memory I vaguely even remember. "Do you remember what you were doing last valentine’s day?" My friend asks, and as I try to recall, she tells me that that girl and I were together that day. And all of a sudden, I remembered. What I was wearing. What she was wearing. The people who were there and where it happened.  It wasn’t that big of a deal at that time. Sure, we shared the same space that evening, yet there was nothing romantic about that night. I've already liked this for a while, and I was just happy to spend that day with her and thankful to Christ I was able to do so. Nothing more.
Then why the hell am I feeling shit at this exact moment? Nak…