I'm not going to New York this September

Today I asses my inventory. What weapons do I possess to destroy this demon. It actually has a description, a real world figure. 200k. 200k per month. 200k per month income. That is it's "power level".
Why 200k? As per Amiela, (I kinda agree too), this monthly amount affords us frequent travels to Europe, a beautiful house, my vintage cars and daily drivers, the best education money can buy. It buys a better life. That's how Amiela's monster presents itself to be.

Destroy this number and this monster motherfucking dies.

To prepare, I had to evaluate the performance of my little but growing empire. What riches has my Airbnb venture brought me? Can you guess it? A paltry 3750 pesos a month on top of my net salary of 20k monthly. Oh also computed this too, i buy 2 pack of cigs @ 100 bucks a day. 30 days of that shit is 3000.


And now in full, hyper real imagery I just saw how unfathomably huge a monster this fucker really is. 200k/mo salary may not be anchored in realism by other people's standards, but it was very real to Amiela. This was her perp. 23,750 a month versus 200,000 is fucking disconcerting. Try imagining me saying: "We have time to work this out together" or "I'm gonna fight for this to the death" and afterwards, seeing Amiela's reaction torwards that? A noble heart and a positive spirit means nothing if you want this fucker dead. What the fuck! I wish I had this perspective ever since! God damn it!!!

Facing this demon in this form gripped my heart. Instant depression. Perma death. I was petrified by fear that no a single tear fell. No tears of frustration. No tears of self pity, This demon has been reported to me in so many other ways yet I was never able to see what it really looked like. It made Amiela believe that it was real. She needed someone to save her from it. 23,750. 

Prior to this shitstorm, I did not act enough to face this fear. I did not see it that way. Maybe i didn't see it at all. For the longest time it wasn't real to me in that magnitude and form. I'm a "don't care about money" person. As i saw it, as long as I'm able to take care of the person I loved, I was completely happy. 23,750.
But I did have contingencies against these "situations". Fear was only an "In the event of calamity"emergency plan. Now, I had to act on these abstract plans fast. I was at war and the first casualty is the person that truly matters to me. Amiela is dead. My enemy's weapon of clinical and debilitating destruction works like this: it make a real problem so huge, it's becomes unsolvable.

Strangely enough, to fight fear's weapon with equal and deadly force, the very first two weapons against it are: hopes and dreams. Ngek riiight? But notice this: Fear destroys these two first. Why do you think it attacks them immediately and relentlessly? It knows that if these two flourish, better arsenal becomes available to your disposal. Murderous determination. Unquenchable lust to destroy the fear itself. Fear is somewhat a simple but relentless monster. It will not stop ever. Neither will I.

Here's the thing: I see him now. He's no abstract "situation" anymore. He is now quantified and thus killable. He will fucking die.

Obtainable within 2 months is a 17,500 recurring rent income in form or a 50/50 partnership. I invest my money in a derelict condo, fix it up and split the profit with the owner. In order to earn this I have to shell out 100k and ROI should be within a year. This ups my monthly to 40500. Forking over 100k is easy. I'm not going to New York this September.

Stage two comes from negotiating for a cut in rental income with my family. I have 4 2br units and 1 3br unit that will be under my control in the next few months. I intend to furnish all the units then split profits with the family business. 25/75 is possible, 30/70 would be a miracle. 40,000 a month rent rate per unit. 25% income multiplied by 4, I get a tremendous boost of well, 40 000 a month. This brings me up to the 80,000 a month range. 

This reinforcement comes at a price. An expensive sum of 250,000k+ in furniture, lighting, appliances - capex per unit. 1M to furnish 4 units. I have a stashed warchest worth 430,000. Forced savings from insurance. Also, there's another unit, a 3br suite which I intend to furnish too. Furnishing that adds about 12-13k a month in rent income. A floating potential monthly income of 93,000 a month. All this is within striking range of 1 to 1 1/2 years. 

And there's the surprisingly dismal performance of Airbnb. When I started in 2015, it generated 11k USD for my company. 15% comm. for me is 75k. Spread in 20 months is 3750. What the fuck. I didn't see it this bad. Now doesn't it make perfect sense what Amiela was telling me: "After you book something in Airbnb, wala na you just focus on your hobbies... (and shit)" I will attempt to double it's value at the very least. That squares my monthly cashflow to 100k a month. 

So now do you see it? 100k vs 200k in under one and a half years isn't as far fetched now isn't it? Fuck you demon I will destroy you. To me this still is a rescue mission. It may not be the same Amiela I'm saving but it's still Amiela. And I'm not just saving her, I'm saving me too. My battle plan is already in motion. Nothing will stop me in exacting certain death to this fear. I will have my revenge and deep in my heart I hope and cling to God that he is with me on this fight.


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