Joey Albert on loop

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A prayer

Thank you Lord for not allowing me to have this. To not allow me to win this for winning's sake. This isn't where You want me to be and if it didn't work out before with whatever I've been seeking, then there still is hope now. Thank you for letting me hear good news today. That change really does happen and You do show Your mighty hand to those that truly follow You. Thank You for blessing them. I felt blessed listening to all of the good and real changes You've affected in their lives. I pray that I receive the same blessings too. My stubborn and callous heart I offer to you. Help me cut the ties that bind me to sin. The memories of heartache, pain, betrayal, inadequacy, aimlessness - Lord I offer them to You. Jim Carrey did say that depression is our avatar's way of saying they are tired of playing his role. I certainly am but I am not surrendering this to the enemy. I surrender my being to you Father, through Jesus' intercession. I am hopeful Lo...
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define love

Yeah I've known love for quite some time now. But as I experience it at this moment, it's far different from how I used to remember and aspire it to be. The love I remember feels high fantasy - euphoric, blissful, intoxicating.  This love I'm experiencing - is quiet, mature, not exciting at all. Painful even.  My stepdaughter is going through mental challenges right now. I am powerless to help her but I suspect I'm doing exactly what needs to be done at this moment. Be quietly beside her.  Now I've never been a parent. I've long moved on from the desire of being one. I was frightened - terrified of underperforming in a role my dad arguably fvcked up in. But here I am now. An awkward not-dad to an 18 year old woman-child. Can't quite hug the kid at the same time can't keep her in line without the cops kneeling on my neck.  Bonds weren't really made 2+ years since me and my partner got together. My "stepkid" was this odd 16 year old that had ...
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Birthday

"Support lang naman kailangan ko sayo eh, ang badtrip na nga nang araw ko ang negavibes mo pa!" - then she starts sobbing. This is the replay mental image of my girlfriend running in my head while I try to ease her long day when her buyer/client pulls an annoying "I forgot the checks again" drama. Among other work related stresses which I have been a daily sounding board for. Point blank. Why do I put up with this? More importantly, I've been made to feel that despite me genuinely trying to help out, I'm the insensitive guy for keeping quiet, not showing my annoyance to her client. I should have been the more supportive "it's okay, at least you've gotten the checks..." Type of boyfriend she says. PS: before she stormed out of the car to meet her client, I wasn't even sure if he had the checks on hand or whatnot. In retrospect, I wasn't even 15 minute mongering whether he'd be there on time in which he was late still, but not...
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