Can I NOT be sad?
Hating this feeling of not being able to. To talk with you. Listen to your stories. Find out how was your day and just try to imagine how that day panned out. That I wasn't able to see your messages when you most wanted to share your day with me. That I wasn't there when you needed me. All because my stupid phone's battery was running low and I left it in my room to charge. For an hour. Fvck. Of all the days you've been away, this is the first time I'm agonizing this intensely, how much I miss you. I can't stand having another episode of this. I hate the thought of you leaving in a few months. Leaving indefinitely. I am heavily considering following to New York to make us work. I'm scared if it doesn't work out. Scared shitless. I imagine you recovering from our-breakup-that-has-not-happened-yet and you feeling pity and sorry for how broken I've become after Us has failed. I can't ask you to stay here in Manila, yet. I don