Peoples propensity to dissappoint. To leave or walk away from someone doesn't always begin when they betray/cheat/lie to you, it may simply be set off by a string of minor dissappointments. You see, when someone continually let's you down for any reason, you tend to be disheartened with them. Case in point, someone offered me car parts that i wanted pretty badly, he offered that i could have them in under a week's time. Its been over 2 months and i still dont have the part. I understand why there is a delay but it doesn't mean im not overly irritated by the lengthy delay. I wouldnt transact with this person ever anymore either after this. Its similar to an allergic reaction. Once it's set off, you most likely wouldn't want to get afflicted by it again. And if like some people that are allergic to shellfish that couldn't resist shrimps or crab, insistence is a choice with post indulgence consequences.
Yeah I've known love for quite some time now. But as I experience it at this moment, it's far different from how I used to remember and aspire it to be. The love I remember feels high fantasy - euphoric, blissful, intoxicating. This love I'm experiencing - is quiet, mature, not exciting at all. Painful even. My stepdaughter is going through mental challenges right now. I am powerless to help her but I suspect I'm doing exactly what needs to be done at this moment. Be quietly beside her. Now I've never been a parent. I've long moved on from the desire of being one. I was frightened - terrified of underperforming in a role my dad arguably fvcked up in. But here I am now. An awkward not-dad to an 18 year old woman-child. Can't quite hug the kid at the same time can't keep her in line without the cops kneeling on my neck. Bonds weren't really made 2+ years since me and my partner got together. My "stepkid" was this odd 16 year old that had ...
"Support lang naman kailangan ko sayo eh, ang badtrip na nga nang araw ko ang negavibes mo pa!" - then she starts sobbing. This is the replay mental image of my girlfriend running in my head while I try to ease her long day when her buyer/client pulls an annoying "I forgot the checks again" drama. Among other work related stresses which I have been a daily sounding board for. Point blank. Why do I put up with this? More importantly, I've been made to feel that despite me genuinely trying to help out, I'm the insensitive guy for keeping quiet, not showing my annoyance to her client. I should have been the more supportive "it's okay, at least you've gotten the checks..." Type of boyfriend she says. PS: before she stormed out of the car to meet her client, I wasn't even sure if he had the checks on hand or whatnot. In retrospect, I wasn't even 15 minute mongering whether he'd be there on time in which he was late still, but not...
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