In facing defeat - 012914

Wednesday, January 29, 2014 at 4:10am

And I think like a goddamn chick about things like this.

I cant help it, I still refuse to turn. Even worse, the subject of my affection doesn't even care about whatever it was. I really don't have any option but to my relinquish my decisions to the hands of people around me.

So as I move forward, I should finally take the douche's understanding on what had transpired and leave it be. Unfortunately the world isn't the same as I have left it and the carnality it brings is just too much to for me to bear.

In all honesty, I have difficulty clinging to Christ to see me through this. My need to protect my notion "self" is overwhelming my thought processes right now and by doing so I head straight to the road of ruin.

My bearings are off. I need help. I am not handling things as well as I thought. I need to sleep and l should shake off any insecurities i am holding on to.

Good night self. Don't be too hard on yourself. You fought as hard as you could. You had her best interests in mind as you fought your demons off. She didn't even care yet you fought them off as best you could. Rest now. The battle is over.


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