be-friend explore pursue commit
What's been up? I hope whatever's written here won't be lost in translation...
Wish i could say that i was glad to see you last night but you seemed so different from how i know you from the past year at least. To be honest, im still mindfvckd about what has happened and i'd rather not draw any conclusion as to why things are so... what is apparent is that you're going through issues of sorts... yolo-ing is a tell-tale sign of it... Seeing the way you were last night makes it convenient for most other guys to just choose to walk away. As much as good counsel from trusted friends for me to just stop and drop it from my end altogether, some pieces of that move just doesn't fit. I don't enjoy shooting myself in the foot for telling you all this, but i'd rather let you know than not even say.
Sure, there are many factors involved as to why things might be the way it is now: (out of order) fame, age, timing, disposition, social rules, intention, interpretations etc...
I dont even know what "this" is.
Also, was there a change that you saw in me that made you think that im not the same guy you knew prior to tagaytay that changes things between us? Again, i'd rather not make assumptions about anything, id still prefer transparency, if you have any questions about me, please feel free to ask.
Obviously, i do have more questions of my own. My ego tells me that i am entitled to answers. Trying to keep my ego in check atmo. i'm lead to believe that there's truth to what you said about taking time alone and thinking things out for yourself. I'm trying to respect that as best i could.
If the answer to all this is just simply - "douche, im not interested." (sorry to break your ego - sana naman), just let me know, over coffee, or crepe (latter preffered) If not, aasa parin ako hahaha ;)
I did write this with your best interests in mind. I am concerned as to how you are, really. Now, i'm at liberty to remind you AGAIN that: don't sell yourself short. Won't hide behind the "gaming" rulebook in regard to why i write this. I'm as "armorless" as can be. If i spectacularly humiliated myself for writing you this, i beg of you, please extend me mercy or at least, leave pieces of my ego intact. I'd like to think that above all this, we still are friends.
That said, sana naman po, pwede na po tayo mag *strictly* coffee very soon... :)
Take care of yourself at all times ok?
Ps: The no-reply-technique's ill effects are precisely this (contents of this digital letter). Hence i loathe it so much :o