The bitter christian

Welcome to my comedy show, the bitter christian. That's meee!

So, may mga born again christian ba dito? Ccf? Gcf? Victory? Praise God. *lights cig* O, bakit ganyan reaction nyo? Di naman kayo born again diba? You will go to hell.

Narinig nyo naman yung John 3:16 diba? Bat di kayo nanampalataya? *raises cig for effect* eto? Nakaquit na nga ako 6 months nag backslide lang ako. Besides saved na ako. Christian pa rin ako pero iba-iba ang yokes na we carry. Eto yung akin. At least eto lang, sana wag pa madagdagan. Lord I'm waiting for help parin give me the strength ulit.

Eh yung iba nga jan eh huma hashtag blezzed sponsored naman yung gamit. Di lang LV Balenciaga for the gerls, pati rubber shuz yezzy sponsored rin ng mga bise, foul - counted.

Pogi ako. Wala naman chicks. Wala akong God's best. Sa kasamaang palad, speaking of which palad. The left. Yung pinang shake hands ko kanina sayo sorry naman. Pag christian, hassle yan kasi ang iPhone mo sigurado may bible app pero may recent tabs puro porn. Baboy diba? Eto pa, pagkatapos magtebats, mag pe-pray saying: "shet Lord sorry, ehhhh, di na nga ako sumama sa Utopia eh. Netopia na nga lang eh para fellowship ng all guys Dgroup. Wala pang 5 minutes pagkatapos mag punas ng shamudraks.

Matanda na ako. 38. Nung 29 ako nag break kami ng GF ko na naging christian. 6 years kami nun. Mid relationship nag cheat sya sakin. Sa christian din. Yun yung pangalan ng ex nya. Leche. Forgiveness - nagkabalikan pa kami dati. Pero tuluyan kami nag break. Sa christian sya na punta ulit. Same christian. Shet. Pero wala na din sila. The ahas always seems to win.

So for the next 6 years, umiwas muna ako sa lablayp. Nung umpisa, para makaiwas sa pag gimik at hanap laman, ang routine ko ay: office, Bahay, scale model, xbox360, Dgroup, Sunday service. Walong buwan yun. Malungkot yes, pero may peace-ish.

Up until isang sabado, naglalaro ako ng Skyrim -rpg yun parang candy crush. Di ako manalo buong gabi tapos biglang nag ring cellphone ko. Tropa ko yung tumawag pero pag sagot ko ng phone babae nagsalita saying: " you're zarge right? Tinatanong ni friend kung nasan ka? Bakit ka nasa bhahay andito kami Linden. Let's go bilisan mo!" Ang suot ng mga ghels, xxxl T-shirt. Panty. Walang bra. You guys know mountain dew right? This shirt reads - "mount and dew me"

Ecstasy party. Shet. I'm back moderpuckers. Partida pigil pa ako sa lagay na yan. Ang trabaho ko paupahan ng condo. Eh pag bakante? Putok lang ng putok? Ganun? Naiwasan ko nga magkapatid 19 &22 na nag sleep over 2 nights. Kaming tatlo lang. Tinuruan pa nila ako mag coke nun. I just couldn't do it. Not for the sake of all mankind.

bandang 35, nagka GF na ulit ako. Salamat Panginoon! At eto pa, 22 lang si girl, at di magimik, ps4 lang ang hilig. At excited mag MRT from a temakats rich village papuntang centris to meetup kahit ayoko sya mag commute dahil may kotse naman ako. Di ako poor. Di lang rich. Omaygad, God's best!
Eh syempre may catch di sya christian. Lamna. After 2 years dating, 6 months official, single nanaman si lolo. Durog si lolo. Durog na durog.

May plans yan para sayo... He who began a good work in you... Pero naisip ko si Abraham. Pero di lang naman sila maka conceive eh. Nakakapag sex parin sila heller. And deylobichoder. Si Moses, 40 years ligaw sa desert. 40 years yun men! Shet may asawa din yun at least. Buti pa si Solomon, the wisest, richest pa. Pero tisod sya Kay Bathsheeba diba? Pinapatay nya tropa nya na asawa ni Bathsheeba para nakuha si girl. Ano yung punishment Solomon? May sakit baby nila or stillborn. 7 days nagluksa si Solomon. Hagulgol + burlap. He asked God to spare their baby. It didn't happen. After 7 days, he got up, wore his kingly stuff and was normal again.

Shet walong buwan akong nababaliw sa recent break up ko. Umiiyak hagulgol while driving. Every effin day. Anim na buwan ako nag quit mag yosi. I fasted for a week. Di ako nagjakol ng 4 na buwan siguro.

I still had no peace. Bakit ganun.

I've been asking Him: Why? In my younger brother's wedding, my bachelor's party for him was an airsoft game and Dencio's. I could've thrown the dirtiest pussy laiden drug loaded party for this guy but I didn't. At the height of my being artista, I did my best to stay low key and humble which resulted in me being mocked by my peers, them saying "di ka pa sikat, Laos ka na". In my head, ok lang wala yan lahat basta may fruits of the Spirit. Asan the fruits?

Last month, nung muntik na ako makipag buntalan sa Tatay kong na stroke, dun lang ako - in retrospect - natigilan. Suka ako sa kalasingan. Mistulang suicide watch mga kapatid ko nung gabi na yun. " Di mo naman ako bibigyan ng di ko kaya diba? Bakit ganito? Di ko na kaya. Puuu tang inaaaaaa..."

The succeeding days were: I wake up, go to the pc, play StarCraft WOL, drink scotch. Rinse repeat. Then I jumped to ps4- witcher3. Rinse repeat. It has been 2 months of that, with bits of work done here and there.

Oddly enough, what prompted me to write now was the word Gratitude. Hah. Thank you Lord for the PS4. And Airbnb expansion. Family, really close friends. Yoga and the gorg teach.
And no tears as I write this.

Thank you!

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