Life without meaning

It's a most painful thought to have as your own.

Deep inescapable pain was once the apex of this dangerous feeling but now that it has stopped raging, lobotomized nothing simply remains.

What empty existence this is. Passionate pursuits dashed and destroyed. Carcass of failures piled sky high, one atop the other.

Revisiting the horrors of these memories to try to learn to undue the mistakes made is so perilous as it triggers a relapse of depression, anxiety, remorse and guilt.

Some things you rise above from, some you have to learn to forget.

And forget it has been. For the heart that once fought so fiercely and passionately cannot continue it's valiant but futile pursuit.

Without heart, what then is left to pursue?

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