The Friend Zone
A lot of people dread "the friend zone". This grey area of uncertainty leaves a lot of would be pursuers jaded, dazed and confused.
I certainly do not. I've learned along the way that it's one of the most rewarding, no-pressure, advantageous regions a guy (or girl) can be at. It's a challenge I gladly accept. I thrive in this zone.
I understand that most people hate this because their agendas are cut short prematurely. I say premature because in this day and age of instant gratification, if one doesn't get what they want immediately, it's simply - on to the next. This strategy may be OK, but it lacks the grace or the charm of the long play.
The Long Play
Think of long play as sexual tension foreplay. You see, in friendzone, there is always some sort of attraction going on. It may be one way or two way. Commitment may just be around the corner or needs time or effort to unravel. Keeping this in mind sets you, the "zoned", in the right perspective for closing your target the "zoner".
Time, timing, intention : are the most critical areas of attention when inside the zone. Fact finding, investigation, persistence and loyalty are the actions required to seal the deal and finish off the target.
The Edge
Here's why I say that it's advantageous for anyone in the friendzone: a lot of walls are kept down and unguarded. In contrast to a pursuer, there will be filters and gates before that person can move from stranger to gf/bf. Information may be fished or volunteered freely, communication is kept constant and more importantly, distance between both parties is virtually non-existent. It should put you within striking distance with her closest friends, which you of course, should also get close to.
In the context of taking care of a person, the zoned can freely lavish the zoner with nearly no penalty. You can exchange ideas with, ask opinions about, converse freely with the zoner under the "friendship" banner. Since technically you are friends, you can still meet other girls that can "increase" your perceived worth to the zoner. Here is where you should establish that even if she hooked up with you and it didn't work out, you'd still be there. Not that you have to be, she just has to be able to think of you that way.
The Objective
The objective here is to build value to yourself to a point that the zoner would second guess themselves as to why you were zoned in the first place. The zoner must have reasons to validate the possibilities of the change of choice. To plant this idea, loyalty to the zoner is key. Loyalty means that despite being zoned, you are still available to them when they most need you. Be available to her girlfriends as well, they will sing praises of your heroic efforts and the news should reach the zoner soon.
Show in your actions why you are keeper instead of just a zoned friend. But before you act, investigate on what actions solicit good or bad responses from the zoner. Since there is sexual tension in the first place, the actions need not be bold and loud. It should be subtle, intentional, genuine and trustworthy. Trustworthy in the sense that the good deed is done as a true friend, not because there is attraction.
By this time, you should have eroded some of the remaining barriers between you and your objective. Continue to show that you are capable of taking care of her. Uncover through fact finding, that you know and can fulfill her needs.
Moments
Moments. These are the go signals that you will have to be keen on. Timing is critical. Moments are your golden windows of opportunity. In the zone, these are temporary portals that can be grabbed immediately, or can be observed to find a particular exploitable frequency. It's similar to a boxer looking for an opening in a sense.
To identify the moment, it is usually is when they are most vulnerable. Some would swoop in after a bad breakup, (effective, but that's in bad form), when there is personal crisis, or when they feel that they are lacking something: say, a deep and personal connection. This is the best time to swoop in.
On a side note, when I'm in the zone, I still show the girl that I like her. I don't act like a pursuer, but rather like a true friend. I do this to keep my target guessing my intentions all the time. I show that person the chemistry of "we", without her feeling the pressure to commit, highly similar to a money back guarantee. I don't like pressure on my end either. I prefer things to happen naturally, "as if" they fell into place. I never tell her that I like her but everyone else should know that I do. This is extended foreplay for me, and I enjoy foreplay that way. Also, I never tell the girl that I like her directly, that is suicide.
I love being in the friend zone. Here, I can have intimate connections with the girl I like (sans kissing, sex, unless your objectives are that... ) without commitment. When you are able to express your deepest thoughts with someone you like a lot for example, it's a mad, euphoric rush! Imagine being able to do that on a regular basis. Also, the girl you like may also return the nice gestures you've done for her. Your crush doing you favors is a mind blowing experience indeed!
It may go on for a long time or you may want to leave the zone if you want to. Just don't ever walk away from the zone for the wrong reasons, it may be the ticket you've been waiting for! Good luck!
I certainly do not. I've learned along the way that it's one of the most rewarding, no-pressure, advantageous regions a guy (or girl) can be at. It's a challenge I gladly accept. I thrive in this zone.
I understand that most people hate this because their agendas are cut short prematurely. I say premature because in this day and age of instant gratification, if one doesn't get what they want immediately, it's simply - on to the next. This strategy may be OK, but it lacks the grace or the charm of the long play.
The Long Play
Think of long play as sexual tension foreplay. You see, in friendzone, there is always some sort of attraction going on. It may be one way or two way. Commitment may just be around the corner or needs time or effort to unravel. Keeping this in mind sets you, the "zoned", in the right perspective for closing your target the "zoner".
Time, timing, intention : are the most critical areas of attention when inside the zone. Fact finding, investigation, persistence and loyalty are the actions required to seal the deal and finish off the target.
The Edge
Here's why I say that it's advantageous for anyone in the friendzone: a lot of walls are kept down and unguarded. In contrast to a pursuer, there will be filters and gates before that person can move from stranger to gf/bf. Information may be fished or volunteered freely, communication is kept constant and more importantly, distance between both parties is virtually non-existent. It should put you within striking distance with her closest friends, which you of course, should also get close to.
In the context of taking care of a person, the zoned can freely lavish the zoner with nearly no penalty. You can exchange ideas with, ask opinions about, converse freely with the zoner under the "friendship" banner. Since technically you are friends, you can still meet other girls that can "increase" your perceived worth to the zoner. Here is where you should establish that even if she hooked up with you and it didn't work out, you'd still be there. Not that you have to be, she just has to be able to think of you that way.
The Objective
The objective here is to build value to yourself to a point that the zoner would second guess themselves as to why you were zoned in the first place. The zoner must have reasons to validate the possibilities of the change of choice. To plant this idea, loyalty to the zoner is key. Loyalty means that despite being zoned, you are still available to them when they most need you. Be available to her girlfriends as well, they will sing praises of your heroic efforts and the news should reach the zoner soon.
Show in your actions why you are keeper instead of just a zoned friend. But before you act, investigate on what actions solicit good or bad responses from the zoner. Since there is sexual tension in the first place, the actions need not be bold and loud. It should be subtle, intentional, genuine and trustworthy. Trustworthy in the sense that the good deed is done as a true friend, not because there is attraction.
By this time, you should have eroded some of the remaining barriers between you and your objective. Continue to show that you are capable of taking care of her. Uncover through fact finding, that you know and can fulfill her needs.
Moments
Moments. These are the go signals that you will have to be keen on. Timing is critical. Moments are your golden windows of opportunity. In the zone, these are temporary portals that can be grabbed immediately, or can be observed to find a particular exploitable frequency. It's similar to a boxer looking for an opening in a sense.
To identify the moment, it is usually is when they are most vulnerable. Some would swoop in after a bad breakup, (effective, but that's in bad form), when there is personal crisis, or when they feel that they are lacking something: say, a deep and personal connection. This is the best time to swoop in.
On a side note, when I'm in the zone, I still show the girl that I like her. I don't act like a pursuer, but rather like a true friend. I do this to keep my target guessing my intentions all the time. I show that person the chemistry of "we", without her feeling the pressure to commit, highly similar to a money back guarantee. I don't like pressure on my end either. I prefer things to happen naturally, "as if" they fell into place. I never tell her that I like her but everyone else should know that I do. This is extended foreplay for me, and I enjoy foreplay that way. Also, I never tell the girl that I like her directly, that is suicide.
I love being in the friend zone. Here, I can have intimate connections with the girl I like (sans kissing, sex, unless your objectives are that... ) without commitment. When you are able to express your deepest thoughts with someone you like a lot for example, it's a mad, euphoric rush! Imagine being able to do that on a regular basis. Also, the girl you like may also return the nice gestures you've done for her. Your crush doing you favors is a mind blowing experience indeed!
It may go on for a long time or you may want to leave the zone if you want to. Just don't ever walk away from the zone for the wrong reasons, it may be the ticket you've been waiting for! Good luck!
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