Riddle me this

How does one go up against a Riddler? This isn't the first time I've encountered one, really. Airbnb had the similar indicators. I mean, I never cared to ask because it isn't that I didn't care about it (how does one go blahblah question), I guess the subject didn't matter much, until now.

To understand "riddler", I must therefore draw conclusions from how "Airbnb" was. Airbnb had a back story so shady, it would have been logical for any fvcker to take advantage and have just abuse unlipop sex. She was with someone else prior to me that provided for her and owned her as his Querida. I guess for a long time she carried the "don't know, don't care" mindset. By the time she fell for me and when it mattered to face the reality of what's been going on with her life for years, she found an exit path via me.

So I went along with the premise, better judgement on my end be damned. My strategy of choice was "the possibility of we" but with a high level filter for emotional exposure. My reason for doing so was, of course, I am obviously not a fan of her back story and it would take more than just time for her to do a course correction.

Airbnb and I went out for about 3 months. As a personal policy, I do not see anyone or entertain anyone else when I'm seeing someone. (Not that there weren't any, had to walk away from an Italian bella and a yoga hottie!) We'd spend quality time together, exchange hopes and dreams, bared our demons, be naked to one another. It was blissful. It was scary.

Given her newly singled status, I felt that she needed to be able to appreciate that. This was another wall ive erected for me not to fall in love. I had to see changes, or the very least, a burning desire for her to unlatch from the hooks her DOM has chained her onto. Another defense I had was my intense focus on work and personal growth at that time. Nothing came close to breaking this mad work/growth obsession. Until riddler came around of course.

Back to point, Airbnb wanted my undivided attention no doubt. Every so often she would tell me there's this guy wanting to take care of her. Some other guy that was giving her this, or that. Her DOM ex saying that she just continue with a business with him, no strings attached. All the while I wanted her to be her own person. I wanted her to move away from all these prior misssteps and yet, I fully knew she would be stripped of all the conveniences that her trappings has afforded her. It was going to be hella tough time for this girl. I was willing to help, but not at the expense of my heart, personal goals and loft self expectations.

I saw the willingness to change her stars. She desperately wanted my high love and devotion. I was far from willing to give it. I was so conditional and she didn't know that. It drove her crazy, jealous, insecure, unworthy... Similar to how I feel towards riddler now. For Airbnb to get to me, itwould have meant death to her sinful ghost. There was no other for her to have a shot at "we", as I saw it.

It was messy how Airbnb and I parted ways. She was an emotional train wreck. She got confined to the hospital after we ... I, cut her off. After a week in the hospital, she reached out to me, telling me that she's come to terms about what happened between us, that we be friends etc... The last thing that I left her with was (in hindsight, sigh) a seen zone.

Fast forward to now, this moment. I know now, realizing as i type this, that I have lovingly embraced a pursuer's mindset. This is my greatest misstep with Riddler. Similar to Airbnb, Riddler has a less than stellar back story. But to her credit, it appears she isn't as far gone as compared to the Airbnb.

As with Airbnb, I want to help. The major difference is - I am committed to fight to make it work this time with everything that I've got. Oddly enough this isn't something that works well in situations like these. My theory is, when the pursued detect that they have their pursuer figured out, similar to how Floyd mayweather fights, his mental game shoots up to a Godlike level. There is no scenario for a win for the pursuer.

At the start of this match, I wasn't the pursuer.

And so I know now, with clarity and conviction, that I have to treat this girl with a strictness and harshness that Airbnb was subjected to. Her youthful irresponsibility should not be able to destroy me. To share, It would seem based on unreliable fb posts that Airbnb is doing better now. She has moved forward with putting up a food business (albeit with her DOM ex) and is choosing to stay single.

Some of Airbnb's posts of pain and suffering seemed to be addressed to me. But on the bright side, despite me having deeply hurt her, the lessons of our encounter has made her realize how truly blessed she is, and that she could depend on her friends too and more importantly, her family.

In closing, I just have to let the Riddler do whatever the hell she wants. Sure, it was a gripping and tense, needless to say mindfvckn experience for me to go through that but now I am starting to find peace from the squabbling of my mind and heart.

I always have other things to do, my goals were set in place so if I encounter not another riddler, but the one instead, it be fully equipped and ready for the long haul to take care of her and at the same time, that she takes care of me.

End.

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