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A prayer

Thank you Lord for not allowing me to have this. To not allow me to win this for winning's sake. This isn't where You want me to be and if it didn't work out before with whatever I've been seeking, then there still is hope now. Thank you for letting me hear good news today. That change really does happen and You do show Your mighty hand to those that truly follow You. Thank You for blessing them. I felt blessed listening to all of the good and real changes You've affected in their lives. I pray that I receive the same blessings too. My stubborn and callous heart I offer to you. Help me cut the ties that bind me to sin. The memories of heartache, pain, betrayal, inadequacy, aimlessness - Lord I offer them to You. Jim Carrey did say that depression is our avatar's way of saying they are tired of playing his role. I certainly am but I am not surrendering this to the enemy. I surrender my being to you Father, through Jesus' intercession. I am hopeful Lo...
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Birthday

"Support lang naman kailangan ko sayo eh, ang badtrip na nga nang araw ko ang negavibes mo pa!" - then she starts sobbing. This is the replay mental image of my girlfriend running in my head while I try to ease her long day when her buyer/client pulls an annoying "I forgot the checks again" drama. Among other work related stresses which I have been a daily sounding board for. Point blank. Why do I put up with this? More importantly, I've been made to feel that despite me genuinely trying to help out, I'm the insensitive guy for keeping quiet, not showing my annoyance to her client. I should have been the more supportive "it's okay, at least you've gotten the checks..." Type of boyfriend she says. PS: before she stormed out of the car to meet her client, I wasn't even sure if he had the checks on hand or whatnot. In retrospect, I wasn't even 15 minute mongering whether he'd be there on time in which he was late still, but not...
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Monarch

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I didn't cry today. It isn't an achievement. In fact, I'm bothered with the idea that I didn't. I fear that my memory of you fades when I don't. I think of you alot though, but the intensity of what we all lost... I don't want it to simply fade away. When I think about it, it's not the theoretical convos that I miss, nor the possible family trips that we'll have in the future that I'm sure we would've had. It's that word again - nangungulila. I miss having you around. I miss your infectious laughter, your larger-than-life kwentos, your gigil hits with baba and kikster and your dedication to your two giant boys, Jaims and Arch. Oh, I had my second dose today. Got sermoned thrice for misplacing my vaccinate card. Not entirely my fault ha, it's been a hectic past couple of days, you know that. And our first batch of SP orders are complete na. I was happy I'm in a good mood because of your encouragement. I'm happy we say a but...
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